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Ibarionex  - The Candid Frame's avatar

My heart goes out to you and your family. I remember the feeling when we cleaned out my dad's apartment after he had passed. It was strange to go through all those things. The only things I kept were a shirt, plastic slippers, and a walking stick. Odd choices, but they were all I needed. I didn't know about the book about Saul Leiter's place. I'm off to spend more money and yet another book.

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Andrew Eberlin's avatar

Thank you for your words and I’m sorry to have tempted you to spend more money!

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Matt Inwood's avatar

Beautiful post. Love the video of the Leiter book: truly a peaceful four minutes of mindful viewing. And that Suede song has long been my favourite of theirs. I hope it's bringing back at least as many lovely moments for you as it is sad ones clearing your Mum's place.

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Andrew Eberlin's avatar

Thank you, Matt. It’s a wonderfully meditative book. Suede… a great song and they are still releasing brilliant music.

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Olli Thomson's avatar

What a wonderful memorial.

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Andrew Eberlin's avatar

Thank you, Olli.

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Alon's avatar

Simple and beautiful, thanks for sharing.

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Andrew Eberlin's avatar

Thank you very much.

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Framing-the-Story w/AK's avatar

Thank you, Andrew. I was not aware of that book! Given how much Leiter appreciated mindfulness and Buddhism, a Zen approach to his living quarters is the best tribute one can pay.

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Andrew Eberlin's avatar

Very true.

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biscuitheque's avatar

Hi Andrew, it is very difficult to clear out a parent's house - I had to do this many years ago. It can be emotionally draining and a great deal to process.

Incidentally, I used to listen to Still Life by Suede in my parent's house, how strange you should link that video! I used to listen to that first album and especially Next Life...I knew thar song was about something but couldn't put my finger on it. Turns out, Brett Anderson lost his mother at a young age.

Anyway, I see this post of yours is a couple months old, so I hope you've had time to process things a little. Remember the good times and remember your mother with love, that's the best way.

Kindest regards,

James.

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Andrew Eberlin's avatar

Hello, James. Thank you for your comment and good to know you are a fellow Suede fan! Their debut was a seminal album and they are still releasing very good music. Live they are also still brilliant. Brett Anderson’s energy is a wonder to behold.

Yes, I have had time to process things about mum. She had a long, slow decline with dementia and remembering what she was like before has been a surprisingly happy exercise.

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biscuitheque's avatar

Good morning Andrew, regarding your mum, these things take time. If you're remembering how your mum was BEFORE her decline, that's a good sign - she was not her illness. It took me ages to figure that out.

Suede is a different band without Bernard Butler. I remember when Coming Up came out, a completely different kettle of fish. Bloodsports is the only album of theirs I've listened to excessively, since their return...bits of the Blue Hour are quite good, Personality Disorder and Black Ice from the new album. Brett indeed does seem to have impressive energy levels for a 55 year old!

Did you see Suede last March at the Forum? I heard Brett said on stage he is "very fond of beautiful Bath." The man still has good taste!

P.S. Slow Attack and Black Rainbows are quite good too.

https://youtu.be/kSS4c3hjuOA?si=bebVZZ3oM5VRkKYY

Have a great day.

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Stella Kalaw's avatar

This is wonderful, Andrew! Thank you for taking the time to reflect on Yumi’s book. I will share your post with her. I agree, the definition in Japanese is my favorite too.

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Andrew Eberlin's avatar

I have you to thank Stella. I remembered that you knew Yumiko and your comment to my last post prompted me to take another look at In Stillness. It took on extra poignancy with mum’s recent death. And thank you for sharing the post. I hope she likes it.

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Stella Kalaw's avatar

You’re welcome, Andrew. And, so sorry for your loss. I hope you were able to save a few of your mum’s things that were precious or held any significance in your life or family. The process of clearing out is a difficult one.

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Susanne Helmert's avatar

This is beautiful, Andrew! I have lost my mom three years ago and helped my dad going through her stuff. It was hard for the both of us.

Have you ever thought about taking photos of your mom‘s things like Yumiko did? It sounds like she left behind some very personal things…

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Andrew Eberlin's avatar

Thank you, Susanne. It is a sad thing clearing your parent’s things. I wish I had taken photos after relooking at In Stillness this week…

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